As women, we are natural caregivers, nurtures by design. It’s simply our DNA. We tend to give and give and GIVE until we have nothing left for ourselves or others. Many of us suffer from burnout. We deal with symptoms of depression, anxiety, insomnia, drug and alcohol abuse, just to name a few. We are fatigued, worn down and just plain worn out. Most of us wear that invisible S on our chest, not because we want to but oft-times because we have to. We have so many roles; mother, wife, sister, lover, friend, chauffeur, planner, bread-winner, corporate executive, housekeeper, cook, and the list goes on and on.
But what happens when life gets in the way of living? What do you do when mole hills actually turn into mountains that seem insurmountable? Who do you turn to when life becomes overwhelming and you just don’t know what to do? How do you deal with the cares of life when it seems that you’re out of options and there’s no answer in sight? Who cares for you?
There are those of us who are able to pull away and get some much-needed rest. We take mini vacations or take a spa day. Some of us rely upon our faith and are refueled that way. Then there are those of us who snap. We take our frustrations out on everyone around us or whomever happens to be near us at the time we have simply had ENOUGH! There are others who feel so overwhelmed that they consider leaving or even worse, committing suicide which is not the option a person in their right frame of mind chooses.
All of the options above, not including suicide, may be viable options. However, might I suggest that any of them, at any time may not prove to be enough to actually help you get back to enjoying life?
We are givers and we want to give to anyone who might need, ask or even indicate that they need our help. Listen closely, I’m not trying to be harsh, but we must understand that though this is an admirable trait to have, it’s not very intelligent! We should give to others from our overflow, not what we have left but the extra, the over and above. The greatest reason being if you are too tired to help yourself, you can’t really effectively help anyone else. Self-care is not a selfish act. It’s really quite the opposite.
A wonderful colleague and peer coach of mine, Ms. Lisa Nichols, says it like this, “You have to learn to say NO. No is a complete sentence that does not require any explanation.” She further goes on to say that exercising your “no” increases the value of your “yes!” In other words, you don’t have to say yes to every request. When you have the confidence to say no when appropriate, people will value your time and your service more when you do say yes.
We also have to learn how to delegate responsibilities whenever possible. We really don’t have to do EVERYTHING! Others may not do it the way we do, but surely there is someone who can get the job done. Delegating a task doesn’t indicate that you are lazy or don’t have a handle on things. It says that you are intelligent, you know your boundaries and you have a great sense of control because you trust in the ability of someone else. Will it always work out, maybe not, but it will work out enough for you to put things into perspective and have some time to enjoy life!
We have to learn our value as women! Your main job is to care for you. Even Scripture tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. So, unless I value me, unless I love me, unless I care for me, how can I value, love and care for anyone else?
The act of valuing, caring and loving one’s self also includes being able to ask for help whenever it is needed. There is no shame in needing assistance or support. The shame is in needing it and not asking for it? There are many options available. Take advantage of opportunities right in front of you and find the ones whose availability isn't quite so obvious. Consider a Life Coach, Therapist, Friend, Minister. Just reach out. Getting help doesn't mean that you are helpless, it means you know when the tide is high and refuse to keep swimming alone.
So, to answer the question we posed above: Who Cares for YOU? The answer is simple. YOU DO!
Bio:
Ollie Anderson began to pen her life’s journey as a form of healing and inspiration for herself. As she chronicled these experiences, through song, poetry and narratives of life events, she discovered her purpose. The joy of sharing her expression of love, life, tragedy and triumph, inspired Ollie to follow her dream of becoming an author and Life Purpose Coach. As a Life Coach she uses the wisdom of life lessons, her intuitive spirit, experience and extensive education to help others succeed in their lives and follow their dreams. Her main goal is to liberate others and support them in their endeavor to live optimal lives. She also desires to die empty by releasing to others everything that God has liberally poured into her. Ollie’s books are FORGIVEN The Cost of the Oil and All Is Well In My World. Both are available on her site, Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.
