Can I Be Heard?

This blog was written by a close friend who allowed me to share this. I thought it was so powerful that everyone should be able to enjoy it!

Can I Be Heard? By Fadia Abdouni
August 28th, 2013

One of the most impactful statements I heard growing up was ” A woman is to be seen but not heard… A lady doesn’t express her opinion in public, especially if it contradicts what others are thinking”. I have always been a very sensitive and deep person, even as a child, my perceptions were broader than average but I didn’t feel I had the platform to be myself. I was shy and tried to be a wallflower as much as I could. I loved to read and all things that made me think about the Universe, its power and magic.

It was in the realm of knowledge that I thrived, being the studious one, the straight A student. It was the identity I created. And on this platform I pursued studies and pushed myself to excel. I wrote poetry as an outlet to what I had to say, they were for my eyes only, after all, who wanted to hear what I had to say? During my teens, as the duck turns into swan, the outside world perceptions about me changed, I was seen and much more seen than I wanted to. “You are pretty!” , “Thank you! Do you want to hear what I have to say?”. Now, I am a young woman: how do you want me to get married and share my life with another man if I don’t know who I am, I haven’t seen the world yet?? No, you can’t say that, but you can say I want to study more!

Moved to another country, yet another culture and ventured into a field where women are not welcomed. I’ve been told that many times during my training: I was not smart enough or good enough, none of it truth…. but I heard it and didn’t speak… instead I was told I had to be strong! How is a woman strong? Be like a man, think like a man! No sleep, no feelings, thick skin… be aggressive! “You didn’t pass the oral test because you wore a red shirt and a string of pearls, you have to be conservative, mute, don’t remind them you are a woman!”

Frankly, I am tired and done with these paradigms. I am done with the story of my life! I am a woman, and I have feelings, I am passionate and I will express myself! I don’t need to look and act like a man to be respected and heard! I will wear my feminine clothes, high heels and jewelry and be the girly girl that is in my nature and not feel like I am less than for choosing that. I will speak my truth every time I feel that I need to be heard, even if it means to loose the job, the friend, the love (or attention) of a man.